Advice From the Trenches: Life is Butt a Dream

0
90

Welcome to Advice From the Trenches, a feature on NRI NOW

Advice From The Trenches is advice with a different twist – it combines the clinical experience of a double boarded psychiatrist, with a slap-in-the-face dose of reality from an artist and writer who has gathered her wisdom from the school of hard-knocks. Thought provoking and often hilarious, this column always hits home, giving you a unique perspective on everyday problems that just makes common sense.

Do you having a burning question for the duo? Send your thoughts, ideas and woes to cathrenhousley@aol.com. Don’t forget to mention that you’re an NRI NOW reader so we can be sure to publish the answer here!

Dear C and Dr. B.;

My daughter is 18, so I really have no say in her decisions, but right now I am having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. My daughter plans to have surgery on her BUTT to make it bigger. Apparently, it’s a thing. I have already told her there is no way I am going to pay for it. My feeling is “What are you thinking!”    

Look, I know it’s a different world than the one I grew up in and people do these things. I’ve seen it on the TV, in videos, on Instagram…I just can’t wrap my head around why women do it. My daughter says these surgeries have the power to change the outcome of her life. She believes this so much that she’s been saving for two years to get the money.  

I could possibly understand if she planned to be a model or rapper, but she wants college and a career! Is there anything I can say that might stop this insanity? 

– Big Butt’s Mother

Dr. B. says:

Technology will constantly change the way we all live. People can now alter their gender and body type – if you have enough money you can change your entire identity. Soon we may even have computers inside us that will change our memories and our way of interfacing with reality and the world.   

I believe if it isn’t broken don’t fix it, and that how we overcome challenges makes us who we are. But this idea seems to be outdated now.

There are studies that prove your daughter may be right. In the media, money and fame follow boobs and butt. But today, the big career goal seems to be as a YouTube Influencer – and while surgical perfection might help to that end, there are very few people who can support themselves that way. 

There are consequences to all of our choices. Sometime when we get what we wish for, we ask: “What was I thinking!”

C says:

Your daughter suffers from Lemming Syndrome. Those with this condition are blindly drawn in whatever direction their own particular herd is moving at any given time. Unfortunately, the Lemming Syndrome is sadly predictable – it pretty much always ends in death at the bottom of a cliff.

Nobody looks in real life like they do on their social media posts. Just type the words “Instagram VS Reality” into Google. Or take a look at these paparazzi photos of Iggy Azalea, a white female rapper who had butt enhancement to further her career: https://radaronline.com/photos/iggy-azalea-plastic-surgery-bikini-butt-implant-cellulite-pics/. Yikes. 

Is there a way to exorcize this Lemming Insanity from your daughter’s brain? Facts seldom sway those under the Influencers, but here’s a few things she should know.

Fat grafting/transfer, AKA the Brazilian butt lift (BBL), is the most popular method of augmentation, but according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, the BBL also has the highest rate of death of all aesthetic procedures. Fat embolism is the leading cause of death in aesthetic surgery, and the risk of death for BBL surgery is at least 10 times higher than that of most other cosmetic procedures – as high as one in 3,000. 

Next, we have buttock implants. This procedure comes with the risk of scarring, pain, skin discoloration, infection and skin loss. It is also possible for implants to shift and cause uneven lumps. Voilà! Time for more surgery.

Some other surprises are also in store – according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, it takes three to six months until you see the full effects of these procedures. You may also need follow-up surgery several years later to maintain your results. This is especially the case if the implants shift or break. And fat grafting can lead to asymmetry due to uneven fat absorption; this too requires continued upkeep. 

But here’s the biggest shocker of all: according to the rumor mill, now that Kim Kardashian wants to be taken more seriously as a humanitarian and business woman, her famously massive butt has mysteriously shrunk. This change, observed by both fans and Beverly Hills surgeons, prompted TikTok and Youtube to launch a series of videos declaring that the day of the Slim-Thick Influencers was over. Who’d a thunk it? 

So – tell your daughter to get with the program. This surgery she has saved two years for is already out of style. I strongly recommend that she instead invest the cash in college or career training. 

– Cathren Housley 

As originally published in Motif Magazine.

Writer Cathren Housley is a past contributor on NRI NOW, covering the local arts and music scene. 

You can visit Dr. B’s blog at drbrilliantcliche.wordpress.com

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
close

Oh hi there 👋
It’s nice to meet you.

Sign up to receive awesome content in your inbox, every week.

We don’t spam!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here